


Nightmare in the kitchen

by thatsprettygood



Series: Batman Nonsense [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Jonathan crane is the best host of the year, M/M, Nightmare cooking, mild crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-18 22:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16128116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsprettygood/pseuds/thatsprettygood
Summary: I found a post on tumblr about nyquil chicken and I thought Jon could cook some for his mates





	Nightmare in the kitchen

“ Y'all should come over.”  
“I'll send the boys a message. What time?”  
“Come in an hour. I’m making dinner.” 

 

Everyone eyed the giant bottle of nyquil on the counter. The chicken continue to boil. Jonathan stared at the pot. “You know what they say…”  
Jonathan looked at his group with a small grin on his thin face.  
He took the blue bottle, and unscrewed the lid. Music meister gasped.  
Jonathan dumped the liquid into the boiling pot. The blue liquid danced around in the pot like a fountain on speed. Edward gagged. “There's a fine riddle for ya edward.” Jervis muttered. His eyes were glued to his friend and this horrific meal he was creating. “ Try to figure out what that is. It’ll Fukken stump everyone.”  
“Oh, I've never made y’all nyquil chicken?” Jonathan said, looking behind him. His face was light and his guests writhed under his pleasant stare. “ It’s quite good, I assure you. Though the recipe is a bit...unconventional.” he rolled the last word a bit, turning back to his meal.  
“ Where did you learn this recipe Jonathan? Some kind of family heirloom?” Edward asked, ignoring Music meister’s death stare boring into the side of his skull. “No. It's actually something I created myself. Jervis-” The Hatter shot up at the sound of his name. “Would you get the table set up?” “...Certainly.” He replied quietly, trotting to the cabinet.  
Jervis trotted around the room, setting the table carefully. His eyes glanced up at Jon as he worked. The rest of the party was deathly quiet.  
Jonathan left the room. Finally. Jervis started shoving the chicken into his hat as fast as humanly possible “ What in the world are you doing?” Music meister seethed through a tight mouth. “It's the only way!” He whispered desperately. “Take some of mine too.” Edward said, scooping a slice of tainted meat into the hat. Music Meister groaned.

“Oh Jervis.” Again, the man shot up like a rabbit. He turned to Jonathan. “Bless your heart. I didn’t know you'd like my cooking that much.” Jervis smiled like an idiot, flipping his fork between his fingers. “I-I was a bit surprised myself.”  
Meister snickered. The hunk of chicken stayed put on his wavering fork. ‘Well, if you liked it that much-” Jonathan smiled, picking up the pot where all their problems began. “Please, have some more.” Before Jervis could protest he had more chicken on his plate. He looked like he was going to cry. “Thank you.” He said, feeling the hot nyquil soaking into his scalp. Edward burst out laughing.


End file.
